I'm such a mess right now. I'm going nowhere with my studies right now. I need to complete a lot of work for all my subjects but it seems like I can't ever complete them. Plus, topped with the demands for the A Level Art coursework submission, I'm currently going crazy. Don't seem to get my things done in time. Have been scolded, commented, criticised and even rejected.
My compositions have been rejected over and over, till I'm so bloody pissed off. All doesn't seem effective. Have been lacking in visualisation and observational drawings too! How can I start painting when I have yet to settle on my final composition? I hate it when I'm always questioned for my compositions. You don't question an artist about his or her art, especially for a Surrealist (I'm no Surrealist to begin with). I'm relatively inspired by Surrealist art thus I tend to draw dream-like works. So, how am I suppose to answer you when you question my work and my subject matters? Hello, its dream-like! If I can tell you, it won't be dream-like!
I hate being under scrutiny, especially when there's always someone who thinks that he's best in every single aspect of art (well, the way he phrased his words, it sounds as though he is a master in every medium of art from Digital Animation to Painting to Colour Pencils to Illustrations and even Installation) . I don't question his ability but stop going around questioning every art student 'cause we're stressed and depressed enough after coming out with a composition and getting it degraded, claiming that it looks like a good "O-LEVEL" work.
My life ain't getting any better nowadays. Yes indeed I have good art teachers but there's always this level which they think you ain't giving your best and that all you works are below expectations. I hate it when teachers think that I am capable of doing extremely good work 'cause it'd mean extremely high expectations. (No, I'm not saying anything to show off! I'm speaking my heart out now, so don't read and distort my words saying that I'm showing off - though some may think I think too highly of myself!) I'm seriously growing (comparing to my O Level days) but at the same thing, I don't think I can keep up with their expectations of me.
Well, I'm showing you all some of my drawings. They are the ONLY good ones that I have in my prepatory work. I'm fucking dead!
OK, lets not talk about the sad stuff.
I went Zara sale (again) and TopMan/TopShop sale with Azfaris and Breda after our Studies of Visual Arts lesson on last Friday. Breda got herself some accessorises from TopShop after weighing how much she should spend with the number of nice accessories that are on discount. Azfaris wanted a khaki coloured cardigan from Zara but couldn't find his size. As for me, I found 2 jackets which I had eyed for a long time. One is of windbreaker material and the other is rather thick. The windbreaker caught my eyes with its hot red which exudes sexiness. The thick jacket caught my eyes with its smart design with the buttons adding a sense of edge to it.
The red windbreaker first caught my eyes in the Zara at VivoCity with a price tag of $125. So I waited and waited and in recent Zara sale, I found it and the price dropped to $99.90! But I fathom it wasn't worth my dough for that material thought the colour was seducing me into getting it. Then, last Friday when I went with Breda and Azfaris, I saw it waving at me again! This time its $75!!!!!!!! Was so tempted to get it. But suddenly, emerged the thick one which too caught my eyes in some other Zara boutique. I remembered it was also around $125 and then it dropped to a $99 before becoming a $75 too!
So, I was spoilt with choices. Couldn't decide. But after a long evaluation session in the changing room, I made my decision and have decided to give up on the red one 'cause I'm not willing to spend my money on windbreaker-thin materials despite how branded it is. I chose the thick one 'cause I can wear it during examinations and also bring it over with me when I'm travelling to places like UK.
Here you go, this is how the thick one looks like.
This is how the red windbreaker (below) look like. I took this photo in a separate occasion!
Gosh, even till now, its still seducing me!
I manage to dig out this photo which I took on my birthday before meeting with my friends (namely Kai Ee and Wei Xian) for celebration. This top (below) cost $79.90 if I didn't remember wrongly and its from Esprit. I think its quite nice, but I don't wish to buy it. Hahaha!
Yesterday, Saturday 12 July, I had dinner with Azfaris, Joanna and Meng Hang at Burger King after our regular Art sessions on Saturday. We chatted like nobody's business. Our topics revolved around Super Zhao to Miss Aminah to Mrs Guna and back to Super Zhao again. We had cameo appearances from Hazura (with her classic comment) and Er Chao.
We were laughing over how the 2 strict teachers are actually funny individuals with their comments etc. As for Super Zhao, we talked about her abilities to vanish at a speed of light whenever we were given the green light to leave the Digital Media Art lab (or recently no green light but still she ran off, jumping over the boundaries that bind all art students in the Digital Media lab.) We laughed and laughed and gosh I think my laughter was way too loud that fellow Burger King eaters too looked over.
Ok, that's all for today! I need to do my art!
I end my entry with the award-winning phrase from Hazura to Super Zhao which stopped Super Zhao from tormenting the poor hungry innocents (namely Meng Hang and I) with her long-winded questions and her personal response which I've no idea how she can actually link every question directed at us to her own experience."EH YOU FINISH YOUR FOOD ALREADY AH?!"
As told by Y!P